


You & I

by Jojicy



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions Of Larry - Freeform, Random - Freeform, Smut, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-11 05:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8955430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jojicy/pseuds/Jojicy
Summary: Just a small collection of my random Ziam one shots.





	1. Dork.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn just wants to sleep.

”Zayn.” The mattress dips and Zayn groans when his still half asleep body rolls into that other body. A soft and fond chuckle cuts through the air and then there’s a gentle stroke on his cheek, a touch Zayn can’t help but to lean into.

“Zayn,” The gentle fingers tickle under Zayn’s chin. “S’time.” Another groan, another fond chuckle.” C’mon, babe.”

Hot breath dances across his skin when Zayn still refuses to open his eyes. “For me? Please?”

And that, that’s just not fucking fair. Not at all.

“No.” Zayn drawls out, voice rough with sleep.

“Well, what if I-“

“Don’t.”

Zayn knows Liam is smiling, knows for a damn fact that he is, he can feel it, can feel it when Liam nuzzles into his neck, sending a shiver down his spine and fuck, fuck it’s too early for this (his body says something else though when it buzzes with Liam’s proximity).

He’s annoyed (well, almost, he can’t be annoyed with Liam because- Because, he’s- Because he’s Liam) because this isn’t at all unfamiliar, it’s actually normal and both of them know how this will end and Zayn just wants to drag Liam into bed, cuddle up to him and fall back asleep but he can’t, he fucking can’t with Liam trailing his spine with kisses, going lower and lower and sending chills through his entire soul with every single one.

But Zayn’s stubborn and so he remains perfectly still (or as still as he can with his boyfriend torturing him like this).

“But I miss you,” Light lips ghost over his neck tattoo. “Being awake is no fun without my grumpy boy.”

“M’not grumpy.”

“You are, though.” Liam argues, being a 100% tease.

“Shut up.”

“Hm? Can’t hear ya.”

Zayn turns his head. “Sh-“ He’s cut off with a kiss. Zayn huffs, hot breath pouring out of his nose and hitting Liam’s face.

“Morning, m’love.”

Slowly, very slowly Zayn cracks one eye open and there he is, full on grinning, looking annoyingly proud and pleased with himself. Zayn buries his face in his pillow again but Liam won’t have it when he cradles Zayn’s head and turns it back to face him.

Zayn makes a protesting noise at the back of his throat, a noise that turns into a moan when Liam gets access to his mouth.

“I hate you.” Zayn mutters when he wraps his arms around Liam’s neck and pulls himself up into a sitting position, Liam’s arms go to rest around his waist.

"I hate you too." Liam says, the words laced with so much fondness and adoration that he just as easily could have said 'I love you'.

This boy, Zayn swears.

Zayn presses closer and Liam's response is immediate, he tightens his grip and wills every inch of air and space between them away before he falls back on the bed, bringing Zayn with him, Zayn yelps with surprise.

"Lia-" He starts but clasps his mouth shut at the expression on Liam's face.

"It worked." Liam says, beaming and Zayn rolls his eyes and hides his fond and stupid grin in Liam's chest.


	2. Hope.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're a mess.

He looks so soft like this; he _is_ soft like this.  

Features that use to be twisted with desperation, anger, sadness, misery or pain are now relaxed, soft and trouble free, so damn trouble free; he's beautiful, he always is but especially like this, and that's simply because he looks so much like the boy he fell in love with all those years ago. Only difference now is that his eyes are closed, and before his eyes would be open and looking at Zayn with so much adoration that even shy teenage Zayn would smile ( _beam_ even) back. 

If Liam looks at Zayn now, it'd be with anything but love and fondness, it'd most likely be with disgust or annoyance - and that on a good day. 

God, he misses him. 

For every day that passes by, Zayn misses Liam -  _his_ Liam - more and more and he's not sure for how much longer he'll be able to do this. 

It's unbearable. 

It's unbearable to no longer being able to look at Liam. 

It's unbearable to no longer being able to reach out for Liam. 

It's unbearable to no longer being able to cuddle with Liam. 

It's unbearable to no longer being able to kiss Liam. 

It's unbearable to no longer being able to make love to Liam. 

It's unbearable to just  _exist_ next to Liam every single day. 

Before Zayn can catch himself, he's extended his hand and started to stroke his fingers across Liam's cheek. 

His stomach jumps into his mouth when Liam exhales and shifts and then, then Liam turns into Zayn's touch, a small and pleased smile tugging at his lips. 

Zayn inhales sharply (stubbornly ignoring the heavy thumping of his stupid heart and the tingling feeling in his fingertips that's quickly turning into an ear-piercing buzz), his touch falls away from Liam's skin, his fingers feeling ice-cold and starting to twitch, begging for  _more._

Liam frowns and shifts again, eyes starting to move underneath his closed eyelids. 

Shit. 

In his almost blind panic, Zayn cradles Liam's face again. And there, there it is again. 

A small and pleased smile. 

Zayn melts, knows that the love he still holds for this boy is reflected in his eyes, probably his whole face. His heart calms, returns to its normal pace (or what used to be normal, back when Zayn was completely head over heels) as his fingers continue to skate over Liam's face, that small and pleased smile intact the entire time.  


	3. End Of Discussion, For Tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn wakes up to an empty bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a load of fluff. 
> 
> Very, very sickening fluff.

Zayn stirs awake with a low displeased groan and reaches across the mattress for the man there, knowing he'll fall back under if they're tangled up together, but his fingertips are met with nothing but cold sheets. 

Zayn cracks his heavy eyes open and sure enough, the spot next to him is empty.

The red numbers on the alarm clock shows 4:27 am.

It’s with a slight frown Zayn gets up and ambles out of the bedroom, sleep long forgotten because Liam’s gone and there’s no way Zayn’ll be able to fall asleep on his own.

He hasn’t fallen asleep alone or untangled from Liam since they were teenagers.

So, up and awake he is.

The house is dark and quiet and Zayn’s convinced Liam’s gone out (which isn’t like Liam because not even Liam gets out of bed before 5:30 am) until he picks up on a sound coming from the living room.

“-believe me I’ll use them both, we made a start, be it a false one, I know-“

Like always, Liam’s voice sends a shiver down Zayn’s spine and brings a proud smile to his lips.

Liam’s amazing.

He’s always been amazing and even now, when his voice is rough with sleep, it has the same effect on Zayn; shivers and proud smiles.

Zayn melts, he fucking _melts_ when he reaches the doorway and sees Liam on the couch with their daughter in his arms.

Their daughter, as in Zayn’s _and_ Liam’s; in both blood and flesh.

Zayn and Liam’s biological daughter.

(Never in his life has Zayn been so incredibly grateful for science as the day they got the news; it was possible, it was possible for them, as a same sex couple, to have a biological child. Sure, it’d take time, longer than a normal pregnancy but both Zayn and Liam were ready to wait and now, a little over two years later, they finally got her.)

They got to take her home from the hospital (in which she’s been kept for over a year and at which Zayn and Liam have spent at least four hours a day just looking at her and talking to her and just _admiring_ her) two weeks ago and Zayn still forgets that she’s at home with them; especially when he wakes up at an unholy hour and gets disoriented because Liam isn’t next to him.

Especially then.

“So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks,” Liam strokes her small cheek with his giant thumb, smiling so wide his eyes are crinkling and she looking up at him with her wide brown eyes.

“-a long way from the playground.” Zayn hears himself joining in, Liam looks up, his (heart) eyes going, if possible, even softer and fonder when he sees Zayn.

They continue together, eyes locked as Zayn crosses the distance between them and sinks down next to Liam, whose arm wraps easily around Zayn’s shoulders.

“I have loved you since we were 18, long before we both thought the same time.”

They grin ridiculously the whole time, eyes bright and alive in a way they haven’t been for a while.

“To be loved, to be in love.”

The room falls silent but the magic between Zayn and Liam remains as they continue to stare at each other.

“I love you, Li.”

“I love you, Z.” Liam whispers back, and Zayn shoots forward, arms closing around Liam’s neck as their mouths move in a passionate kiss.

A small noise is what breaks them apart and Zayn had almost forgotten.

His daughter.

“Hi, baby girl,” He coos. “Dad loves you too, don’t you ever forget that.”

“And daddy,” Liam’s arm tightens around Zayn where it’s still resting. “Daddy loves you too, darling.”

“So much,” Zayn whispers and leans down to kiss her cheek. “So, so much.” Zayn tickles her side just to startle a delightful giggle out of her, and to see a smile tug at her lips, push at her cheeks until her eyes crinkle.

When Zayn glances up at Liam, that exact same smile is reflected on his face.

She’s got Liam’s smile.

“Your smile.”

“Your giggle.”

 

Later, when they’ve fed her (battled for the bottle and her, Zayn ended up sitting on Liam’s lap, their girl in his arms while Liam held the bottle for her), put her back to bed and peppered her with too many kisses and cuddles, Liam mumbles; “She still needs a name, babe.”

Zayn hums happily and cuddles further into Liam’s chest.

“You’re not listening.” Liam states, more fond than anything, Zayn makes a small noise of protest.

“You’re not.” The smile is evident in Liam’s voice.

“Am too.” Zayn huffs but doesn’t move.

“I still like Zayna.” Liam murmurs into his hair, knowing that that will attract Zayn’s attention.

Their daughter is two months old and Zayn and Liam haven’t been able to agree on a name yet.

“We’re not calling our daughter that.”

“Why not? It means beautiful, suits her perfectly.”

Zayn sighs, not being able to not be fond because Liam actually looked that up but still, “No.”

Liam faux-gasps, “You don’t think our daughter is beautiful?”

Zayn gives up. He’s not going to get any more sleep, at least not right now because _apparently_ they’re going to decide their daughter’s name at- 6:03 in the morning.

“We’re not calling our daughter Zayna because that’d be like naming her Zayn and-“

“Perfect.”

Zayn glares, because _no._

“You wanna call her Lily.”

“Because it’s cute and-“

“And because it can be shorted to Li.”

Damn.

“Fine, not Lily.” Pause, and then, low. “Suits her better.”

“What was that?”

Zayn grins, “I said that it suits her better.”

It happens very quickly and suddenly Liam is hovering above him, caging him in with his legs. “Does not.”

Zayn just grins, wiggles his eyebrows and Liam’s eyes darken which stirs something in Zayn’s gut.

“It doesn’t.”

Zayn tilts his head and pushes his tongue to the back of his teeth.

Liam’s lips slam into his and Zayn groans quietly into it, locking his arms around Liam’s neck to drag their bodies closer together.

“Not Zayna.”

“Not Lily.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and drops it; she’s not going to get a name today either. It’s not as if he can focus on anything but Liam’s warm skin pressing into his own as Liam lowers himself onto Zayn anyway, connecting every single inch of their bodies.

“Lily’s cu-“ Zayn tries, just for good measure but he’s cut short when Liam bites down on his collarbone, Zayn arches into it as his lips part around a silent cry.


	4. Sleep Well, Babe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam's hurting.

Zayn’s worried.

Zayn’s been worried ever since Liam didn’t pick up when he called (which was one week ago).

He doesn’t get it, Liam always picks up when he calls, no matter how sick or sad he is so Liam not picking up now really sends off red warning lights.

They all said to give it time but Zayn’s given it time, he’s given Liam a fucking _week_ to call back and, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

So now, with Liam’s favourite takeout and a movie in a bag, Zayn’s knocking (or more like banging) on Liam’s door.

All blinds are down and that’s just another warning signal for Zayn because Liam always complains about how they all shut out the sunlight at work.

So, Zayn’s super worried.

“C’mon, Liam, I know you’re in there!” Zayn shouts through the door and continues to bang on it. “I know you’re in there and I’m not going to leave until you let me in.”

A few minutes drag by before there’s a click in the lock. Zayn doesn’t hesitate when he steps inside.

“I brought takeout, your favorutie.” He offers as greeting and strides into the dim flat, so unlike the one he’s used to.

Liam must be a wreck.

“So,” Zayn sits down on the couch with a sigh. “How’ve we been?”

Dull and tired eyes peer back at him from the doorway and yeah, Liam’s a wreck; tousled hair, unshaved face, body wrapped in blankets, feet bare.

He looks pale and thinner, like he hasn’t eaten for days.

“You’re hungry?” Zayn penetrates the silence as he starts unpacking the food, opening the containers to let the smell fill the room. “I know I am.” With a plastic fork in hand, Zayn pops a piece of chicken into his mouth.

The couch dips next to him but Zayn pretends not to notice.

“I rented Finding Dory, that’s alright?”

“Why are you here?” It’s the sound of someone who hasn’t spoken in too long but it’s not only that, it’s not _Liam_. Liam doesn’t sound hollow and broken.

“To hang out,” Zayn replies easily, filling his mouth with rice. “You know, the way we always do.”

Liam sighs.

“It’ll be cold soon and we both know how much you hate cold food.” Another sigh and then a shift in the cushions next to him.

Progress.

Liam stirs his rice and pokes his chicken but he does actually finish it, after quite a bit of nagging.  

Zayn’s certain that Liam finishes his meal because Zayn keeps pestering him about it, and not because he wanted to or because he was hungry but Zayn takes it.

Zayn takes it because he made Liam eat an entire meal.

A lot of words are gathering on Zayn’s tongue but he bites them all back because Liam won’t get better if he gets to hear that their friends are worried about him, or that Liam’s parents have been calling Zayn twice a day, carefully fishing for information about their son, knowing how close Zayn and Liam are.

None of that will help so Zayn swallows those words and his own unhealthy worry and focuses on the dark bags under Liam’s eyes instead.

It looks as if he hasn’t slept for at least a week and the realization makes Zayn’s stomach twist.

Liam must be ruined if he can’t even sleep.

“It wasn’t your fault, Liam.” They’re both cuddled up on the couch, heads resting on the back of it, intense hazel studying the broken boy and dull brown staring unseeingly at a spot next to Zayn’s knee.

“You did everything you could and there’s nothing more than that that you can do.” Zayn knows it’s pointless to say it but he does anyways because it’s just something you do, isn’t it? When Liam doesn’t say anything, Zayn drops it.

Liam’s not ready to try to forgive himself yet.

“Let’s watch Finding Dory, ya?” A hand on his arm stops him when Zayn goes to get off the couch.

“Is-“ Liam pauses and tries again. “Is it like Finding Nemo?”

Zayn sinks back down on the couch when Liam doesn’t remove his hand, and shakes his head. “No, or ya, it kinda is.” Liam hums.

“It’s kinda like Finding Nemo 2.0 but at the same time, it isn’t. Like, there’s a few flashbacks from Finding Nemo in there but it’s an entire different…” Zayn trails off when he looks back at Liam, whose eyes are slowly fluttering shut.

“Mhm.”

Zayn fights a small smile and continues, “It’s an entire different story line, because now Dory suddenly remembers that she’s got a family and she gets obsessed with finding them and it’s all super cute.”

Liam’s entire frame has gone slack now and his chest is rising and falling with steady heavy breaths.

He’s asleep.

Liam is asleep, thanks to Zayn.

Zayn made him fall asleep.

In fear of startling Liam awake if he touches him, Zayn settles back on the couch, face only inches away from Liam’s sleeping features.


	5. Burning Desire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been too fucking long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, eh, yeah, this is like my first time writing smut. 
> 
> If it's terrible and awful and horrendous, I'm sorry.

The second Liam steps through the door they’re glued to one another, every single inch of their bodies pressed together as desperate and eager hands go to tangle with hair they’re not quite familiar with, cradling faces and inches of skin, for what feels like the first time in forever.

No words are exchanged as their mouths lock in a kiss that turns sloppy, messy and uncoordinated in an embarrassingly short amount of time. Zayn hooks an arm around Liam’s neck, shifts to stand on his toes so their chests align, and tightens his grip until he’s practically hanging off of the boy he’s been away from for far too long.

It should hurt, their current position, should hurt Liam but Liam doesn’t drop any such hints, quite the opposite actually as he wraps his arm around Zayn’s waist to press them closer (not that that’s possible) while his other hand goes to cup the back of Zayn’s head, fingers pushing through soft dark hair.  

It’s not until they both run out of air and are forced to pull apart to catch their breath that the first words are spoken.

“Zayn.” Liam breathes out, fond brown eyes gazing down at Zayn in a way that has Zayn’s breath hitch.

“Liam.” Zayn whispers back before he can’t stop himself, lips tugging into an equally fond smile.

And then their breathing is stable again and it’s with happy and giddy giggles that the two of them stumble (Liam backwards and Zayn forwards) into the living room, eyes locked, lips brushing as fingers dig harshly into skin.

For months Zayn’s been waiting to see Liam just to tell him _I love you_ and now he’s here, Liam is here; in flesh and bone; warm, bright and loving and Zayn couldn’t be happier.

When Liam’s fingers catch at the hem of his shirt, Zayn’s only giving him just enough time to tug it off before he presses back into him, his own fingers pushing in under Liam’s jacket to push it off. Fuck, he loves this boy and when gold locks with brown it feels as if he’s just said the three tiny yet massive words because Liam’s eyes practically melt and Zayn’s ripping Liam’s shirt off.

Liam hums and Zayn shoves Liam down on the couch and flings himself on top of him, attacks his mouth all over again, slides and presses his tongue against the seam of Liam’s lips until he’s granted access.

“Za-“ Liam tries but is cut off on a moan when Zayn rolls his hips. “Ah, fuck.”

Zayn is trembling with anticipation, hardly being able to control himself as Liam reaches down in between them.

“ _Liam_.” Zayn groans, his eyes fall shut and his features twist with frustration and need. “C’mon, I-“ Liam quiets him with a kiss as one button finally pops open. “I-“ Zayn hitches on his next breath, and then Liam’s hands are on him, discarding the rest of his clothes.

The sound that passes Zayn’s lips next is pathetic and he’d be beyond embarrassed if anyone else heard it but it’s Liam; _his_ Liam so Zayn just reaches around until shivering fingertips touch hot skin.

“Shhh,” Somehow in the process, Liam has managed to switch their positions and he’s now hovering above Zayn, looking down at him with darkening eyes. “It’s alright, baby.” Zayn arches into Liam, desperate for friction.

“Li-“ Zayn cuts himself off when he surges up for a kiss, once against hooking his arms around Liam’s neck, tugging harshly until he can swirl his tongue in Liam’s mouth.

A firm arm goes around Zayn’s waist and then they’re tumbling down on the floor, Zayn on top, Liam smirks, a playful glint in his eye as his hands travel down Zayn’s back and-

Zayn inhales sharply, head dropping onto Liam’s chest when Liam’s slick ( _how_?) finger pushes at his hole, and exhales shakily.

“Shhh,” Liam coos as he prods gently at the tight muscle. This is going to hurt, they both know it because it’s been months since they last did this and- Zayn collapses again when Liam pushes his finger in the whole way. It stings and burns but Zayn doesn’t care, he doesn’t fucking _care_ when he thrusts back, grimacing. Gentle fingers tilt Zayn’s head up.

“We don’t-“ Zayn shakes his head, gritting his teeth, because no. He wants this, more than anything, and ya, it’s going to hurt but he just can’t be bothered.

“One more.” Zayn urges him on until Liam obeys and after that it isn’t long until he’s added a third.

“Now, Liam, c’mon, please.” Zayn gasps out in between heavy breaths, and rolls his hips just to hear Liam stutter.

When Liam finally, finally, _finally,_ lines them up, Zayn is dangerously close to the edge already but he refuses to come before he has even felt Liam properly.

Zayn squeezes his eyes shut tightly when Liam pushes in, his whole body going rigid, Liam’s hands draw soothing patterns across his skin.

“Zayn, Zayn, Zayn,” He mumbles in his ear, stroking his cheek. “You’re okay, shhh.” The pain in Liam’s voice is different compared to the one in Zayn’s struggled breathing (and probably twisted expression), and when Liam inhales to say something, Zayn wrap his legs around his waist to keep him in place and the new angle intensifies the already brutal pain but Zayn’s gonna have this, no fucking way he’s gonna let _this_ slip through his fingers.

No fucking way.

Liam’s still mumbling his name as a mantra and stroking his skin with soothing fingers when Zayn is eventually opening his eyes again, vision blurry with tears, Liam doesn’t say anything, just holds perfectly still, giving Zayn the time he so desperately needs.

Liam is gazing back at him fondly when Zayn focuses back at him, muscles slowly relaxing, one after one. “I love you.” And that’s it. That’s what it takes for the last muscle to relax and then Zayn is, slowly and tentatively, rolling his hips, dragging a hiss from both of them.

“’m fine.” That’s the signal Liam’s been waiting for; the confirmation they’ve both been longing for.

At first Liam’s pace is slow, like he’s waiting for Zayn to change his mind, to tell him to stop but Zayn never does and so Liam picks up a punishing pace, one that bruises their hips and makes them cry out with pleasure. Zayn pulls himself up, once against changing the angle, until he’s seated on Liam’s lap but before Liam can question it, Zayn’s slamming his mouth against his. Liam’s cock drags inside of him and right along his prostate when Zayn shifts and-

“Fuck-“

“Zayn, I-“

Zayn fucks down, head throwing back on a keen as his nails draw red marks across Liam’s shoulder blades. Liam groans, his eyes squeezing shut with pleasure when Zayn clenches around him.

“Fuck,” Zayn breathes out, heavily, against Liam’s mouth, hands yanking harshly at his hair. “Liam, you-“

Liam nods, exhaling sharply as his eyes open. Once again, Liam is the one to change their positions, leaning forward until Zayn is lying on the floor again and when he does, he hooks his legs around Liam again, arching upward. Liam lies himself on top of Zayn and then he’s rolling his hips in circles, Zayn’s breath hitches when he fights the impulse to throw his head backwards, instead, he exchanges heavy breaths with Liam, continuing to yank at Liam’s hair. It’s not long until Zayn goes perfectly still, freezes where he’s clinging onto Liam.

“Let go, babe,” Liam manages, voice strained. “I got you.” And as to emphasize his words, Liam wraps himself around Zayn, buries his face in Zayn’s neck and gives one last thrust and that’s when Zayn loses it, hurtling over the edge, head first, with Liam’s name on his tongue.

In the midst of his bliss, he feels Liam going painfully tense. “I got you, babe.” It’s barely a whisper but Zayn knows Liam hears and when Zayn shifts, Liam loses himself; back arching and head throwing back with Zayn’s name.  

Zayn doesn’t make a sound when Liam slumps back down, eyes shut and chest heaving heavily, breaths coming out unevenly. A small and tired smile curls Zayn’s lips as he looks down at him, his fingers threading loosely through golden hair.

“Love you,” Zayn whispers, pressing swollen lips to Liam’s forehead. “So, so,” His eyes close. “Much. So fucking much, Liam.”

Liam stirs, hot breath dancing across Zayn’s hot skin. “Love you more,” comes the answering whisper. Zayn snorts.

“Not possible.” He argues quietly.

Careful fingers tickle Zayn’s cheek until he opens his eyes. Liam smiles, lopsidedly, head tilting in the way that always has Zayn’s heart fluttering.

“’s not.” Liam lifts an eyebrow and nope, Zayn’s not going to- Nope. Liam chuckles, cups his cheeks and brings him in for a soft kiss. “Asshole.” Zayn mutters fondly, Liam chuckles.

Both of them hiss when Liam pulls out and as if he knows that Zayn feels empty, he hugs him close, tucks him into his side and traces his fingertips up and down his spine. Zayn shudders and Liam nuzzles his nose into his neck.

None of them comment on the fact that they’re on the floor in their living room, naked and Zayn’s grateful, so grateful and so fucking pleased and happy.


End file.
